pjbooks Chapter 29 Saving the world is fine, but let's talk about the appearance fee first!
Chapter 29 Saving the world is fine, but let's talk about the appearance fee first!
Lin Fan took another sip of tea.
He rolled the tea over his tongue, then slammed the celadon teacup heavily onto the stone table.
"Snapped!"
A sharp crack startled Xuan Chengzi and Fang Qingxue, making their hearts leap into their throats.
"Something's not right with this tea."
Lin Fan's face darkened completely.
His pickiness about food and drink is ingrained in his very being. Since acquiring this skill through signing in, his five senses have become abnormally acute.
This cup of tea is a premium Da Hong Pao from the mother tree, painstakingly presented by Li Zhenguo. It has a powerful rocky flavor and a lingering fragrance on the lips and teeth, and should be the ultimate taste that can be found in the mortal world.
But now, that clear and refreshing tea aroma seems to be covered by an invisible, greasy film.
It's not clear or transparent; it tastes dull.
At first, he thought he was just not fully awake and that his sense of taste was off.
It wasn't until Xuan Chengzi's words woke him up.
Upon further examination, the root of the problem instantly became clear to him.
It's not a problem with the tea, nor is it a problem with the water.
The atmosphere in this courtyard has changed.
Although it was still frighteningly dense, it was no longer pure and tranquil; it had gained a subtle sense of restlessness and filth.
It's like a tiny, almost imperceptible rat dropping in a pot of top-quality clear broth, painstakingly prepared with countless efforts.
The soup was still the same pot of soup, but that irritating smell could not be hidden from his discerning palate.
"Damn it, what bad luck."
Lin Fan cursed inwardly.
He finally understood why he felt unwell all morning.
It turns out that the air quality index of our own "ancestral home of the human emperor" has dropped!
This is like living in a Swiss mountain villa where PM2.5 levels are consistently zero, and suddenly one day, a chemical plant opens next door, sending acid rain and toxic smog into your home every day in various ways.
Who can bear this?
"Sir, look..."
Xuan Chengzi noticed the change in Lin Fan's expression from impatience to gloom, and the anxiety that had been hanging over him finally subsided.
Become!
Fang Qingxue's method was indeed effective!
Talking about national affairs and the world with this guy is like casting pearls before swine.
We must start with the quality of life he values most!
"Is this matter troublesome?" Lin Fan raised his eyelids, glanced at Xuan Chengzi, and his tone carried a sense of pressure that said, "You'd better give me a reasonable explanation."
"Troublesome! Extremely troublesome!"
Xuan Chengzi's spirits lifted, and his expression instantly switched to a solemn one, as if the end of the world was approaching.
"Those 'extraterrestrial evil spirits' are neither gold nor stone, formless and intangible, specializing in corrupting people's hearts and tainting their fortunes! Mortal weapons are completely ineffective against them! Even the Taoist arts of Penglai can only barely expel them, not eradicate them!"
He deliberately emphasized his tone, his mind racing to come up with the most disgusting words possible.
"And once they arrive, they will multiply exponentially! At that time, the entire capital will become their paradise! Forget about drinking tea, sir, you'll probably be hit by a stench the moment you open the door!"
Xuan Chengzi's words were half true and half false; he deliberately described the worst possible scenario in vivid detail.
Lin Fan frowned as he listened.
Smell terrible when you go outside?
A scene flashed through his mind: as soon as he pushed open the courtyard gate, a stench of rotten wood mixed with the sour smell of the ditch assaulted his senses; and all over the alley, there were those sticky, black things wriggling on the ground...
"stop!"
Lin Fan felt a wave of nausea and quickly stopped the other person's imagination.
No, absolutely not!
He could watch Godzilla land in Tokyo, but he absolutely could not tolerate his own home becoming like a landfill!
"How do we resolve this?" Lin Fan asked coldly, his tone already carrying a murderous intent.
"have!"
Xuan Chengzi had been waiting for this very sentence, and immediately bowed, replying, "As long as we can repair the crack in that 'Heaven and Earth Membrane' before it completely bursts open, we can prevent evil spirits from descending at their source!"
"How to replenish it?"
"This..." Xuan Chengzi looked troubled and lowered his posture even further. "To repair the rift in heaven and earth, one needs to mobilize a massive amount of the purest primordial energy. Looking at the world today, I'm afraid... only you, sir, can do this."
That flattery was perfectly timed.
Lin Fan, however, showed no expression. He didn't care how awesome he was right now; he only cared about whether this deal was worthwhile.
"You mean you want me to go on a business trip to patch up that crack or something?"
"Exactly! This matter can only be accomplished by you, sir!" Xuan Chengzi said earnestly, almost as if he were swearing an oath to the heavens.
"Okay."
Lin Fan nodded.
Upon hearing this, Xuan Chengzi and Fang Qingxue both showed expressions of joy at surviving a calamity.
I didn't expect you to be so easy to talk to this time!
However, Lin Fan's next words instantly froze their smiles on their faces.
"How is the appearance fee calculated?"
Lin Fan crossed his legs and shifted to a more comfortable position in the rocking chair, looking as if he were about to start a transnational business negotiation.
"Let me make this clear first, this job is much more troublesome than beating up that butcher last time. Last time it was door-to-door service, this time it's a business trip, and a cross-dimensional one at that. The price will be different."
Xuan Chengzi opened his mouth, but a breath caught in his throat, almost suffocating him.
Pay...appearance fee?
Repairing heaven and earth, saving the world—such a sacred and great undertaking… and you want to talk about money?
He felt that the worldview he had just built through "enlightenment" was once again being crushed and rubbed against by this man with the sole of his shoe.
Fang Qingxue stood to the side, wanting to laugh but not daring to, her shoulders trembling from holding it in.
She knew it; her husband's thought process was always so unique, always so... pragmatic.
"Sir...this...this concerns the fate of all people..." Xuan Chezi still wanted to make a last-ditch effort to awaken the other party's conscience.
"Stop."
Lin Fan waved his hand impatiently, interrupting him.
"Let's be frank. What do I care about the plight of the people? Do they pay my property fees? Or contribute to my pension? I'm a straightforward person; one thing at a time."
"I'll take action. But you'll have to offer me a reward that satisfies me."
"Otherwise, forget it. At worst, I'll set up a barrier in my yard, and even if there's a raging flood outside, I won't have to see it or worry about it. As for whether you live or die, good luck to you."
Lin Fan's words were extremely blunt, but they also completely extinguished any remaining hope in Xuan Chengzi's mind.
He had no doubt that this man was truly capable of doing such a thing.
If he were to truly shut down this "ancestral temple of the human emperor" and become a coward, then the outside world would truly be doomed.
"Then... sir, what would you like?"
Xuan Chengzi spoke with difficulty, already mentally prepared to be exploited to the bone.
Penglai Immortal Island has a history spanning thousands of years. Its stockpile of rare and precious materials and divine martial arts manuals should... be... enough, right?
Lin Fan stroked his smooth chin and began to make plans.
Last time, we asked Li Zhenguo to repair the road and lay the power lines. Although it was practical, the scope was too small.
This is a world-class mega-project, so the price must be commensurate with my status and my ruined good mood.
Money? Waste paper.
Power? Trouble.
A beautiful woman? This is a huge problem.
He pondered for a moment, then suddenly raised an eyebrow.
He looked at Xuan Chengzi and slowly held up three fingers.
"Three conditions."
"Please speak, sir!" Xuan Chengzi's spirits lifted. As long as they were willing to talk, there was still hope!
"First," Lin Fan pointed to the old locust tree in the courtyard, "this tree looks a bit wilted lately. Aren't you Penglai guardians of fortune? Give it a boost. I want its future locust blossoms to taste just like this tea today when brewed."
Xuan Chengzi's lips twitched violently.
Are you treating the ancestral sacred tree, which suppresses the fortune of humanity, like a tea tree? And expecting it to reach the quality of the original Da Hong Pao tea tree?
You're the only one in the world who would dare to think like that!
But Penglai does indeed have a secret method to accomplish this.
"No problem!" Xuan Chengzi gritted his teeth, spitting out three words, "I'll set up the 'Azure Dragon Formation of Yi Wood' as soon as I get back, and offer up my sect's secret treasure, 'Nine Heavens Sweet Rain,' guaranteeing that the divine tree will be reborn, its flowers blooming even more beautifully than celestial tea!"
"Secondly," Lin Fan continued, "I'm a picky eater. That Da Hong Pao last time was just passable. Your Penglai family is so wealthy, you must have some rare and precious fruits and wines hidden away, right? Give me as many as you have. From now on, you can provide all the fruits and drinks for my family."
Xuan Chengzi felt as if his heart was being gripped tightly by an invisible hand, and it was bleeding.
Immortal fruits? Divine dew?
In an instant, images of the "Vermilion Fruit that ripens only once every three thousand years" and the "Jade Essence Nectar formed from the condensation of moonlight" from the Penglai Treasure Vault flashed through his mind...
Those are strategic resources that Penglai only spares for its core disciples to cleanse their marrow and meridians, and for its elders to break through barriers! Every drop, every single grain, contains the purest spiritual energy, so precious that the cultivation world would fight tooth and nail for it!
Now, this guy is actually going to use it... as a daily snack and drink?
spendthrift!
The number one spendthrift!
But would he dare say "no"?
"...No problem." Xuan Chengzi spoke each word with immense difficulty, as if chewing on shards of glass. "We have plenty of 'Vermilion Fruit' and 'Jade Marrow Elixir' from Penglai!"
"Hmm, that's more like it."
Lin Fan nodded in satisfaction, then extended his third finger.
A smile that was hard to decipher appeared on his face.
"As for the third condition..."