Is what you're learning correct?

Chapter 39 Getting on the Bed

Shule the gorilla, Zhang Wei the chubby white guy, and Liu Yang the sports committee member squatted together at the back of the truck bed. Each of them was a strongman weighing over 200 pounds. They could carry a horse on their shoulders and stand on their arms, blocking out almost all the cold wind. They chatted and laughed there.

Zhang Wei looked outside and said, "I remember there are a lot of hot springs in these villages. I think it's on the road we just passed, after going around to the back, there's a BYD Hot Spring Resort. It's pretty big. I came here once a few years ago. Holy crap, they wanted three boiled hot spring eggs for ten yuan! They've completely ripped me off!"

"That road leads to another village. No, these three hamlets over here are actually one village, called Lihuashan New Village." Liu Yang pointed to the side: "They were only separated when they were moved down from the old mountain during the landslide. Hmm, most of them share the same surname as Lao Lu."

Shu Le nodded: "Yes, once we ran into an old man on the street who called Lao Lu 'Grandpa,' which really startled us. And my grandpa used to never let me come here, hehe. He said the people here are all unruly, the kind who would beat a whole van full of people to death for stealing a dog and still not be caught. They're all the same kind of people as Lao Lu!"

Zhang Wei exclaimed, "I understand that we can't catch people, but I don't understand why there are still people stealing dogs these days."

"Yes, of course there are," Liu Yang said. "There are a lot of pet dogs in the countryside now. They're big, clumsy, and will follow you just because you shout at them. You can get a few hundred yuan right away, faster than robbing someone. The only minor drawback is, just like Lezi said, there might be a tiny bit of health risk..."

Shu Le chuckled twice: "I also know some idiot who used to live near my house. That bastard stole three of my horses, one of which had a microchip!"

"Wearing a chip? Holy crap, he's got blood ties? How many years would that be?"

"No wonder we used to live so close; the house's already been sold three times!"

"A prodigy!"

Zhou Zijin staggered over, crouching down and sticking her head out to pant heavily. "Give me... give me a bottle of hawthorn juice. Damn it, I should have skipped breakfast this morning..."

"Be careful, Jin. You're so frail. You can't keep going like this. How am I supposed to hold my grandson?" Liu Yang said while unpacking a cardboard box. "Let's aim for a baby shower in freshman year, and then get the marriage certificate in senior year for a grand celebration. After graduation, you and Zhi-jie will be at work while the baby goes to school. Life will be perfect, wonderful!"

Zhou Zijin retched, her eyes starting to turn bloodshot, too weak to curse: "Damn it..."

Shu Le gasped, "Now that you mention it, I feel like Ah Jin's life is over. What's going on? I can see the whole thing from beginning to end! Holy crap, what kind of Chinese horror is this?!"

Zhang Wei was even a little envious: "What do you know? This is called avoiding 60 years of detours, right, Ah Jin?"

"You fucking..." Zhou Zijin gulped down two more mouthfuls of ice-cold hawthorn juice, feeling his strength return considerably: "So you think I'm going to live to eighty, huh? And you just send me to my grave like this?"

A girl behind us asked, "Jin, have you finished setting up the nest? You've been here before, how much longer until we get there?"

"It's been about half an hour, and the prison hasn't opened quickly enough."

"oh..."

Liu Yang glanced down and asked, "There's still a path in this old forest?"

"The old stone path to the old village was worse than nothing..." Zhou Zijin felt increasingly dizzy as she looked at it: "It was used so little that it got worse and worse. The stones were scattered here and there, rotting in the mud. In the summer, when the rain washed it away, it turned into a riverbed..."

"Holy crap! Holy crap, there are pheasants! Look! Look!"

As soon as Zhang Wei shouted, the girls in the truck bed crowded around to see what was going on: "Pheasant? Where? Where? Ah, I see it! What a beautiful tail!"

"This place is wonderful!"

"Fine, then you should find a way to marry into this bandit group and become their wife. Lao Lu is handsome and comes from a wealthy family!"

"He's in good shape! He's got plenty of strength!"

"Go to hell!"

"Get out of the way, you bunch of ants! You're all ruining my DSLR's focus!"

"You've really pulled off a great act, it's even more impressive than a camera lens!"

The car rumbled into the old village. The devastation of the landslide was still faintly visible, not completely erased from the annals of history. Half of the village ended abruptly on both sides of the road, a third and a half buried in the rubble, and only a third remained basically intact, though now it was just ruins.

"This...an earthquake...?"

"No, it wasn't an earthquake, it was just a landslide, a collapse."

"Um..."

At this point, saying anything would seem inappropriate, and the silence continued until a high-powered tractor drove into Lu Chi's yard: "Damn it! That Lu bastard! Is he really this extravagant and corrupt behind the scenes? This is all our hard-earned money!"

"Be a little harsh on yourself, Lao Lu!"

"I suggest Wan Shuhuan repeat his studies for two more years; by then, Lao Lu will become the richest man in Yanchuan!"

"Damn it, you're after my Day-after-recharge magic weapon, aren't you?"

"Back in the South, we usually call this a manor!"

"That's too conservative. It should be called a hot spring eco-resort. Damn it, those evil capitalists!!"

"Then let me ask you, which would you choose: 100 million yuan or Tsinghua University?"

"Tsinghua University!"

Why?

"Given that location, whether for business or rental, the catering and entertainment sector has unlimited potential; it's raking in money every day!"

"?"

"Damn it, pure mountain bandits and thugs!"

"What an amazing stack of timber! The smooth lines, the neat arrangement, the beautiful color progression—I swear, I don't care about anything else, but I really love this! The solid stacking, the saw marks from the cutting—I declare it, it's an absolute beauty, a masterpiece!"

"We don't tolerate this kind of freak in Class B. Take him out, Aruba!"

"Ada~ Ah~~"

"Why is there a tower here?"

"That's my social security!" Lu Chi banged on the truck bed, "What are you all barking about? Bride, aren't you going to get out of the truck and wait for me to carry you all into the house and onto the bed?"

Shu Le's dark face was filled with embarrassment as she thrust her hips forward sharply: "If there's a bride price... it's not impossible..."

"Hah!"

"Damn it, this gorilla has no shame!"

"Ha, so what if you're shameless? There's a maggot getting a perm over there!"

"?"

Upon entering the house, another round of incessant barking erupted. The chubby white man bared his teeth and exclaimed, "Holy crap, what is this? Those antlers! Isn't that a moose head?! Am I still in modern society? Where did I get here? Lao Lu, tell everyone the truth, do you have a hunter's license and a shotgun at home?"

Oh, I, Timi, still have an air gun at home that shoots fleas. Come here, find a clean spot in the yard, spread out some plastic sheeting, and I'll show it to you.

"This smell! Is this the fragrance of solid wood?" Over there, Xing Zheng, whose obsession with solid wood had become so severe it was affecting his sanity, was going crazy, frantically rubbing the floor after falling in love with the woodpile: "Solid wood! Waaah! It's all solid wood! Even the floor!"

There's also the words of Gao Yihan, a genetic engineering expert whose pronouncements can be considered a revelation: "Wow, this is incredible! This huge bed, this massive fireplace—if someone put a tube in here, wouldn't they die from sheer pleasure?!"

"You think you can just send someone else's animal to be released and then cremate it directly? You little brat!"

"What a tragedy!"

"Poor Lu, you've worked so hard! Poor Lu, you're so generous! Poor Lu, eat some plums!" Ran Qingfeng chimed in, gesturing with a plum at Lu Chi. Perhaps used to being fed, as soon as Lu Chi opened his mouth, this woman stuck her middle finger in: "Hahaha, you idiot! Eat my Great Wilderness Prisoner's Finger!"

"Damn it!" Lu Chi laughed angrily, "It's the Heavenly Emperor, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

As everyone knows, even a blind emperor is still an emperor. Once he opens his mind, he can just slide tackle. So what Master Lu means is that you're blind and trying to outsmart me.

With a gritted teeth, Ran Qingfeng screamed in pain. Lu Chi covered her mouth and nose with his hand and manually muted her microphone. He turned to the side and with a perfect, flawless aerial somersault and over-the-shoulder throw, he put her on the ground. Then, holding her by the arm and leg with one hand, he launched her away like a tossing Tom. The whole thing was done in one smooth, effortless motion.

A group of people peered through the doorframe into the room, only to see Ran Qingfeng, her head bowed and her bottom sticking out, wriggling under the covers on the bed. Seemingly sensing their gazes on her precious rear, she burrowed even deeper, pulled the covers over herself, and waved behind her. Whether out of shyness or shamelessness, she said, "Goodnight, Makka Pakka~"

Goodnight, you useless piece of trash.

"Oh, you're already on the kang (heated brick bed). It's like you've come home!"

"I would call her the pioneering female warrior."

"Lord Lu, this woman harbors treacherous intentions and must not be allowed to live!"

In short, all of this was chaos and disorder, like the Japanese invaders invading a village.