It's Perfectly Normal for my Slime to beat up a Dragon, Right?

Ch. 215 - I Want a Commendation Flag That Says 'Nanjiang Bandit Gang'

Chen Shu paid no attention to the looks on their faces and kept talking:"We pissed it off, and both sides were at least several thousand meters apart. A blinding white light appeared in its mouth and blasted straight toward us!"

Terror surfaced in Chen Shu's eyes. His acting was absolutely film-emperor-level.

Everyone couldn't help but start believing him, just a little.

"Thank god the Mutant Thunderbird was fast. We made it out through the Space Corridor. But even then, the force of that skill tore straight through the dimensional barrier and caused... well, this!"

The three Dragon Guards stayed silent, turning the story over in their heads.

As bullshit as it sounded, it wasn't technically impossible.

If a Silver King had appeared, collapsing a Space Corridor was absolutely within the realm of plausibility.

The key problem was -- they couldn't go into the Alternate Dimension to verify it now!

The three exchanged glances, doubt and half-belief warring on their faces.

Beyond believing him, they couldn't come up with a second explanation.

Sure, there were rumors about Chen Shu having black technology, but if Huaxia's own research divisions couldn't develop it, how was some third-year high school slacker supposed to pull it off?

Chen Shu maintained his expression of lingering horror, but internally, his thoughts were elsewhere entirely:

The Silver King committed all those evil deeds. What does any of that have to do with me, the Nanjiang Bandit?

If the Fire Dragon inside that Alternate Dimension ever found out about the story Chen Shu had fabricated, it would probably want to scatter his ashes to the winds...

Not only was it the biggest victim, it was now the one taking the fall.

Truly the number-one tragedy of a beast's life.

"These are our spoils!"

To strengthen his case, Chen Shu opened all eight urea bags on the spot.

"Hm?"

Every pair of eyes went wide simultaneously, expressions jolting with shock.

Inside those plain urea bags were medicinal herbs, gleaming bright and unmistakable.

A single stalk was worth hundreds of thousands of yuan -- these were primary ingredients for Black Iron-rank potions.

If all eight bags were stuffed full, the total value was easily over a hundred million.

The actual market price of the herbs was often even higher. Even the Silver-rank Beast Tamers felt a twinge of temptation.

"Believe us now? The new Alternate Dimension was practically paved with treasure!"

Chen Shu still looked like he hadn't gotten his fill. It had been like picking money off the ground in there.

Xue Ziming's fists clenched. If he'd gone along with them, would he be rolling in cash right now?

But if he'd actually dared to tag along, Chen Shu would've sold him out without a second's hesitation...

"Alright!"

Wang Xuanyang spoke up. "Now that the crisis is resolved, our mission here is complete."

Seeing that everyone was getting ready to pull out, Chen Shu immediately blocked their path.

"Hold on -- what about the government's reward?"

System rewards, Alternate Dimension herbs, and government compensation.

He wanted it all.

Wang Xuanyang glanced back over his shoulder. "We'll send you a Commendation Flag tomorrow. What text do you want on it? You can put in a request now." [1]

"..."

Chen Shu's mouth twitched. What the fuck was a symbolic piece of honor going to do for him?!

"I want money!!"

Wang Xuanyang's eyes bulged. "You don't even pretend to hide it, do you?!"

"This was accomplished by both of you together, so the credit is split evenly. But since you're not a Dragon Guard, we can't give you any internal resources."

Xu Yi stepped in to explain, clearly aware that Chen Shu was no pushover.

If they let him latch on, the Dragon Guard might end up hemorrhaging funds...

Chen Shu's eyes rolled. Then he said:

"Fine, I don't need the money. But you have to put me on Huaxia National Television and present the Commendation Flag in a public ceremony!"

Ah, youth. So fixated on vanity...

The corner of Wang Xuanyang's mouth curled into a smile. "Absolutely no problem. What text do you want on the flag?"

"Nanjiang Bandit Gang."

"???"

All three Dragon Guards turned to stare at him, faces completely blank.

"What? Is there a problem?"

Chen Shu asked. One of his life's ambitions was to make the name "Nanjiang Bandit Gang" shake the entire world. Huaxia was just the first step.

"You don't think that's insane?"

Wang Xuanyang's forehead was covered in black lines. "A government-issued Commendation Flag that says 'Nanjiang Bandit Gang'?!"

Absurdity's own mother had opened the door for Absurdity -- Absurdity had made it all the way home. [2]

"Pick something else!"

All three Dragon Guards shot it down instantly. This was flat-out impossible.

Commending a bandit gang on national television? That was certifiably, irredeemably unhinged.

"Then I don't want anything. Give all the credit to Sis Fang Si."

Chen Shu shrugged. Without "Nanjiang Bandit Gang," every other option felt wrong.

Looked like the dream would have to be self-funded. Official publicity was clearly off the table.

"Works for me. If there's nothing else, we're pulling out."

Seeing the three about to leave again, Chen Shu immediately spoke up: "Wait!"

"What now?"

"You still owe me eleven million yuan!"

In an instant, Wang Xuanyang mounted his golden bird and vanished without a trace.

"..."

The other two Dragon Guards couldn't believe how fast Old Wang had bolted.

They made a silent vow: Under no circumstances can we let this kid latch onto us.

Chen Shu's gaze drifted down to Xue Ziming below. He called out:

"How much is eagle meat per jin? Money's no object!!"

The moment those words left his mouth, both Chen Shu's and Fang Si's eyes began to glow, like a pair of starving wolves. The sight sent chills straight to the bone.

"Brother Xu! Take me with you!"

Xue Ziming's face drained of color. If he stayed any longer, both of his contract spirits were getting cooked.

His Black Giant Eagle was already critically wounded -- there was no way it could beat Fang Si.

And then there was Chen Shu, whose depths he couldn't even begin to gauge.

An ordinary Beast Tamer daring to enter an uncharted Alternate Dimension? He wouldn't believe it if you killed him.

Before long, everyone else had left. Only Chen Shu and Fang Si remained.

As for cleanup -- that was the Spirit Suppression Bureau's problem.

"Damn, didn't get any eagle meat. What a shame."

Chen Shu sighed, then left the area and headed back to downtown Nanjiang City.

His first stop was the Flower and Bird Market, where he bought every single female bird available and gave them all to the Mutant Thunderbird as a reward.

The bird had zero interest in the priceless medicinal herbs.

Apparently, only female birds were its faith.

The Mutant Thunderbird carried a massive birdcage on its back, positively brimming with satisfaction...

Chen Shu dragged the eight urea bags alongside Fang Si, and the two of them made their way back to the residential complex.

Passersby shot them curious looks, but not a soul would have believed that those ordinary fertilizer bags contained over a hundred million yuan in Huaxia currency.

This, truly, was what it meant to parade in your finest robes under the cover of night -- except the "robes" were urea bags and the "night" was broad daylight.

The two of them had originally planned to go home and divide the spoils, but Fang Si refused.

"Keep the herbs. The Dragon Guard's internal rewards are more useful to me."

Fang Si left without another word. Both of her contract spirits had been cultivated to perfection at the Black Iron tier. What she needed now were Silver-rank resources.

Chen Shu didn't argue. He took the herbs home.

...

Early the next morning, Chen Shu arrived at his black market shop.

"Tianbao-bro, get all the herbs on display."

Wang Tianbao and the others opened the urea bags. The moment they saw the price tags Chen Shu had scrawled, they froze.

"Boss Chen, this flower is worth two hundred thousand?!"

Everyone swallowed hard, minds reeling.

Wang Tianbao leaned in close and whispered:

"Boss Chen, I know this is the black market and all, but the fraud amounts shouldn't be this high. The Spirit Suppression Bureau will step in..."

"..."

Chen Shu's mouth twitched. Do I look like I sell fake goods?!

[1] Commendation Flag (锦旗, jǐn qí): A red velvet pennant with gold characters, presented as formal public recognition for meritorious service -- doctors receive them from patients, police from communities, rescue workers from survivors. Ubiquitous in Chinese public institutions. Wang Xuanyang's offer is technically a genuine government reward. Chen Shu demanding it say "Nanjiang Bandit Gang" is asking the state to officially commend its own criminals.

[2] 离谱他妈给离谱开门，离谱到家了 (lí pǔ tā mā gěi lí pǔ kāi mén, lí pǔ dào jiā le): Lit. "Absurdity's own mother opened the door for Absurdity -- Absurdity has made it all the way home." Internet slang (c. 2020-2021, Bilibili/Zhihu) for something so monumentally absurd it has achieved completion. The construction personifies 离谱 ("absurd/outrageous") and uses 到家 ("to reach home / to reach the extreme"). Equivalent register: "This is peak insanity. Absurdity has peaked and gone home."